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About Literature / Hobbyist Premium Member Garrison KellyMale/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 10 Years
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It’s a little late for a post about Father’s Day, but this time of year has a whole new meaning for me. Over the past few journals, I’ve been giving you updates on the status of my brown and white Springer Spaniel Molly, who earlier in the month was diagnosed with lung cancer. On Father’s Day this past Sunday, she finally passed away. That day hit the entire family where it hurts, but none more so than Dale, who in his own way was like a father to Molly-Dolly. I gave him a bag of Mini York Peppermint Patties and he seemed to perk up during a day where he cried relentlessly. I also gave him the privacy he needed to get all of those salty fluids out of his eyeballs.

As I’ve said earlier, the entire family was saddened by Molly’s death, myself included. Dale didn’t feel like cooking that day and I didn’t feel like doing much of anything except for languidly answering messages on the computer. Dale had his York Peppermint Patties to cheer him up…and I had my online friends. My wonderful online friends and immediate family members who are made of 100% awesome sauce. It’s a long list of people to thank for lifting my spirits on Father’s Day, so we might as well get started.


1. Marie Krepps. I pay lip service to this wonderful woman all the time for her flawless beta reading skills and wicked sense of humor. And now she deserves another honor: Artist of the Year. She needed practice drawing females since in her mind she wasn’t good with jawbones and breasts (but excellent with asses). Therefore, she drew a character of mine that I hold very dear to my heart: Debra Winter, who played the role of Mitch McLeod’s girlfriend in my multi-draft novel Occupy Wrestling. Spoiler alert: she wants to prove to her boyfriend that she’s tough enough to withstand pro-wrestling training, so what does she do? She leads a bunch of pissed off wrestlers and cops into battle against the forces of evil in a bozo nightmare…and wins! Seeing Debra drawn the way she was put a permanent smile on my face and it’s all Marie’s doing. To pay her back, I drew a picture of one of her characters as well: Mertuk the Vampire Overlord from her multi-draft vampire sci-fi novel Threads of a Web. Mertuk is ultra powerful and frightening to look at, and you can’t teach that. Fuck with this vampire warrior and he’ll split your head open like a watermelon….with his pinky toe! She liked my drawing as much as I liked hers. Even so, there aren’t enough thank you’s for this wonderful human being. She needs more!

2. Reina Wilson, aka Susan Wilson’s daughter and my niece. You guys hear me talk all the time about Reina and how she drives me bat shit crazy with her endless energy and constant nosiness. But on Father’s Day, I actually needed her company the most. With mom providing the transportation and the money (thank you as well, mommy!), Reina and I ate at one of our favorite restaurants, the China Sun Buffet. The food at the restaurant is endless and yummy at the same time, but Reina’s company made it much better. Once we were done eating and we came home, we spent what must have been an hour and a half looking at my creative notes and my Deviant Art account. It’s cool enough that my own niece takes an interest in my craft, but when I can play a game with her where she tries to pronounce my character’s names, that’s a comedian’s dream come true. How do you think she did with Athoptlorys? Hell, there probably aren’t very many adults who could pronounce that name. If you’re an adult and happen to fit that group of people, it’s pronounced “uh-THOPT-lor-iss”. Hey, he was a character I made up when I was a middle schooler who didn’t know my ass from a hole in the ground, give me a break. Hehe!

3. Zero Urrea, who has been my DA bestie since 2009. Six years of kick-ass friendship and one day of kick-ass conversation. When I needed someone to talk to the most, he was there for me. Neither one of us dominated the conversation that day; we both got equal time and we both had plenty to tell each other. We talked about everything from Super Mario Brothers to pro-wrestling’s Most Disgusting Promotional Tactics to Legos to even posting random avatars at each other to express how we’re feeling. In all the time I’ve talked to Zero over the six years we’ve known each other, I’ve used the avatar of Homer Simpson drooling more times that I’ve used anything else. Delicious food makes its way into our conversations a lot. We’re both fast food fans, so we have plenty of food to make each other hungry over. Sometimes it’s just a simple conversation that can make the most difference. We talked about positive things and we talked about Molly dying. The happiness and sadness both came together during that talk to create a whole world of emotion for the two of us. And when either one of us creates a world, we have to make room for Justin Hawthorne (his Lego mini-figure) and Sage Thunderbreath (my Lego ogre who also happens to be the lead villain of Watch You Burn).

4. Susan Wilson (my former sister-in-law turned real life bestie) and Ian Roe (Susan’s whacked out ex-boyfriend). It was late at night and far past my bedtime. All three of us were hungry as hell and decided Mickey D’s was our best option (probably because Zero planted those seeds in my head). The food was as good as it usually is, but it’s the conversation the three of us had together while riding the car that got me the most. Ian, for all of his craziness and whack-a-do logic, is actually a cool guy and apparently, he thinks the same way about me since I’m a nonconformist who doesn’t give a shit about anything. That, and the three of us found a song we all can bond over: “Let Us Burn” by Within Temptation, who Ian says sounds like a heavy metal version of Paramore. I eventually made a whole Within Temptation CD for Susan to listen to in the car and she loves it. Ian loves it as well. Hell, you show me a guy who hates Within Temptation and I’ll show you a guy who…uh…I’ll get back to you on that one.

5. Michael Temons, my biological father. Earlier in the day, as in before I found out Molly died in the backyard, I wrote a Father’s Day post on Face Book and tagged my dad. I told him how I cherished the times when I was a kid growing up in Chehalis and the two of us walked to a store called Rejo’s to get a bunch of snacks before heading back home to watch Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction. Dad, James (my brother), and I would always compete with each other over who could identify which stories were fact and which were fiction. Dad dominated this competition and won almost every time. It makes me wish Beyond Belief was still on the air, but really, what TV show lasts for that long aside from soap operas and WWE programming? Speaking of WWE, Dad introduced me to that as well as the music of The Moody Blues, Pink Floyd, and The Police. The Moody Blues prevented me from committing suicide, Pink Floyd taught me about being a nonconforming individual, and The Police comforted me during a time of girl shyness. Happy Father’s Day, Dad. You’ve earned it!


The people on this list made Father’s Day 2015 and Molly’s death bearable and for that I can never repay them enough. I also have a bunch of friends and family members who aren’t on this list that deserve praise as well. Sticking with me for this long is something that takes patience, I’ll admit, but it’s that patience, love, and understanding that determines the strength of your character, and for that, I thank you. Thank you all for listening to me and making my life a beautiful thing. We’ve got ears, say cheers!



I’m sure you guys have noticed in your inboxes a review for Baby Looney Tunes and the 18th chapter of Watch You Burn. With all of the other items on my writer’s buffet table cleared, that just leaves one more before the cycle of randomness comes full circle: an unemployed character profile of Sarah Tonin, a clown rebel from a movie script I wrote in 2007 called Macaroni & Ownage Project. Go ahead and laugh at the name I’ve chosen for her. It is after all a punch line of serotonin, the chemical in your brain that makes you happy. Sarah, on the other hand, is not a happy camper. In fact, she’s borderline insane. That, and she’s good with a wooden staff, so don’t fuck with her.



“Are there any guys here tonight who’re wearing an earring? How about a sanitary napkin, do you have one of them on too? Nah, that’s a cheap joke and I’m better than that. No, I’m not! The reason I asked is because I once wore an earring and I was wondering if the trend had changed at all since I got it removed. I got an earring for a very simple reason: I wanted people to think I was different. I thought, ‘Self-mutilation, that might do the trick! I only have seven holes in my head now, I’ll make an eighth hole and stick an ornament in there! And people will have to deal with me!’”

-George Carlin-

  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: Down with the Fallen by Starset
  • Reading: Altered Carbon by Richard K. Morgan
  • Watching: WWE NXT
  • Playing: With Legos
  • Eating: Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream
  • Drinking: Iced Tea


Garrison Kelly
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
Confessions of a Schizophrenic Savage is available where e-books are sold. Although American Darkness and Brawl-Mart are both currently on the market, I request that you not purchase a copy of either until both are fully edited and cleaned up.

Garrison’s Library:

Good Reads Author Profile:…

Sitka: June 19th, 2014 Cat of the Day:…

Q: How do you deal with writer’s block?
A: My favorite way to deal with writer’s block is by imagining the scenes of my stories from beginning to end. Sometimes when I’m alone (or at least when I’m sure I’m alone), I’ll do a back and forth dialogue between characters out loud. If it wasn’t for this method, the characters in my current novel Fireball Nightmare would all be two-dimensional wash-ups. It’s supposed to be a fast-paced bloodbath, but stories and emotions are just as important as the high-octane violence, if not more so.

Q: What’s your advice for aspiring writers?
A: Listen to your heart. Write about things you feel are important to you. Taking advice from others is okay and often recommended, but ultimately, you’re the one who makes the final decision on your writing, not the audience, not the editors, not the admins, just you and you alone. If somebody tells you your writing sucks, put as much distance as possible between yourself and that person. Nobody has the right to bring you down. If you still feel like your writing sucks, then keep working on it until it doesn’t. Never give up hope.

Q: How do you get inspired to write?
A: I draw inspiration from a lot of different sources whether they’re from other books or not. I’m a huge fan of heavy metal music and I often use it to channel aggressive feelings in my writing, especially during scenes of violence. I’m also a fan of professional wrestling as evidenced in my 2014 dark fantasy e-book Brawl-Mart. People like to criticize wrestling for being “fake” and I always tell them that Harry Potter is also fake, yet nobody’s complaining. Yet another source of creative fuel comes from the computer game Diablo II: Lord of Destruction. If it wasn’t for that game, I wouldn’t have such a fascination with barbarians. Deus Shadowheart, the main character of Fireball Nightmare, probably wouldn’t be a barbarian or even in existence if it wasn’t for Diablo II.

Q: Where did you get the idea for your most recent book?
A: When I was a child, I loved playing with Legos and I had a set from the pirate franchise that was a volcano with a swinging skull door in front. I called this set the Volcano of Doom and it has since been the inspiration for the main deity of Fireball Nightmare, Vahd (which is just a respelling of the acronym for Volcano of Doom (VOD)). Realistically, Fireball Nightmare is just an excuse for me to use a favorite barbarian character of mine named Deus Shadowheart and an idea I had for a dark fantasy apocalyptic role-playing game I made up called Valley of the Damned. When two kick-ass things come together, it’s instant magic. The makers of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup know this very well.

Q: Describe your desk.
A: It’s a hand-me-down from my older brother and has been in my possession since 2008. I have to be careful with it because it’s small and shakes easily. The upper tier has my computer screen, pencils, flash drives, and tissues on it. The middle tier holds my fan, house phone, speakers, tape player, keyboard, and sometimes a bottle of Diet Mountain Dew. The bottom tier is where my computer tower, printer, and power strips are located. In addition to writing stories and poetry, my rickety desk has also been used to draw some…interesting pictures.

Q: Where did you grow up, and how did this influence your writing?
A: I’ve lived in many places over the course of my childhood, but the one place where reality hit me the hardest was when I was going to high school in Chehalis, Washington. My freshman year was best known for the verbal bullying I have endured and almost committed suicide over. Due to the crippling PTSD (and eventual schizophrenia) I’ve suffered, most of my writing is influenced by dark and disturbing themes such as death, bullying, mental sickness, sex, and violence. I do have lighthearted stories in my archives, but I will always be known as an R-rated author.

Q: When did you first start writing?
A: I’ve been writing all of my life, but the time when I started taking it seriously was January of 2002. My first writing project was a videogame idea called Final Fantasy Hardcore. It had the same magical premise and romantic leanings as the games in the Final Fantasy series, but it was set in a dystopian future and had tons of mature content. My two favorite characters from this series are a charismatic barbarian named Deus Shadowheart and a perverted scientist named Dr. Scott Cain. Ever since scrapping Final Fantasy Hardcore, I’ve been trying to find a story for those two to be a part of. I think I’ve finally nailed it with a dark fantasy novel I’m currently writing called “Fireball Nightmare”.

Q: What’s the story behind your latest book?
A: My most recently published e-book as of now is American Darkness, which isn’t really a novel, but a collection of emotional short stories in a contemporary setting. There are 22 different stories jammed in this anthology, but the pride and joy of this series is one called “Another Brick in the Wall”, which obviously takes its name from the Pink Floyd songs. It is a classic verbal confrontation between a strict US History teacher named Sid McDonnell and a stressed out student named Sam Keith. This is a scenario I have always fantasized about, especially considering I had some rather unsavory teachers in high school and college who deserved a tongue-lashing.

Q: What motivated you to become an indie author?
A: My circumstances were the reason I chose self-publishing over traditional. I live in a town called Port Orchard, where young adult writers don’t have an outlet for their creativity. If I wanted to go somewhere to fulfill that need, it would have to be either Seattle, Bellingham, or Tacoma, all three of which are big cities that are too hard to get to. I don’t have a car or a driver’s license, so I have to depend on others for transportation. The people in my family who have driver’s licenses have schedules of their own and can’t ferry me to the big cities on a daily basis. Instead of stressing myself out by traveling to the big cities, I choose to use the internet to make my presence known. I have a lot of work to do in order to market myself, but I wouldn’t have self-published if I didn’t believe I could do it.

Q: How has Smash Words contributed to your success?
A: I haven’t sold very many e-books yet, but when the money starts rolling in, it will be because I chose Smash Words. Simply having a place where my writing can be immortalized is good enough for me. I write regularly on Deviant Art, Good Reads, Blogger, and Face Book. Smash Words is different from these places because it gives me a platform to organize my writing into a tangible product instead of just bits and pieces. Sometimes people need to see the bigger picture in order to make a decision about whether to be a member of an author’s audience.

Q: What is the greatest joy of writing for you?
A: Exercising my creativity is always a fun part of the business, but my favorite part comes from the feeling of accomplishment I get after I write something. I have taken something from my screwed up psyche and made something beautiful out of it. I liken this to the scene in the musical Pink Floyd the Wall where the main character smashes his hotel room in a fit of rage and afterwards makes a piece of art out of the remains. It’s a creepy way to think of my accomplishments, but then again, lots of creepy things go on in my mind.

Q: What do your fans mean to you?
A: My fans mean everything to me. Every time they give me a compliment or critique on my writing, it helps me become a better writer. Even if it’s a short compliment like “very well-written”, it’s enough to boost my confidence to continue putting myself out there. I’m shy at first, but when I begin to get comfortable with a group of people, we do so much for each other.

Q: What are you working on next?
A: It’s a dark fantasy novel called Fireball Nightmare. The first act, which is known as This Is Violence, deals with a forest-dwelling barbarian named Deus Shadowheart who will go to extreme means to protect his home from city developers. The main reason he does this is because he is a servant of the volcanic mountain god Vahd, who will erupt into apocalyptic fire if his forest is destroyed. The second act is called Valley of the Damned, but I won’t get into it right now because too much of the plot will have been revealed.

Q: Who are your favorite authors?
A: This is going to sound ironic coming from a lifelong writer, but I didn’t actually become a bookworm until 2009 when I picked up a copy of The Cleaner by Brett Battles. The books I read in college were slow-paced and dull while The Cleaner was exciting and quick. It’s because of this drastic change in pace that Brett Battles will always be my favorite author. Others include fellow introvert Susan Cain, Sherman Alexie, Carl Hiaasen, and Stephen Chbosky. Realistically, I’ll give my patronage to any author who can dictate a fast pace with his or her writing. Bonus points to go to any author who can almost bring me to tears. I haven’t cried since 2007, but I came very close to doing so with many of the authors I’ve read books from, particularly Stephen Chbosky.

Q: What inspires you to get out of bed each day?
A: To be honest, I don’t have much of a professional or social life in my small town of Port Orchard, Washington. To put it bluntly, I’m unemployed and have very few friends. I don’t have much of a reason to get out of bed every day, so the closest thing to inspiration I have is walking to the grocery store to get three giant bottles of Diet Mountain Dew. Walking is a fun exercise that helps me clear my mind, but more importantly, it’s an opportunity to rock out to heavy metal music on my MP3 player.



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saffronpanther Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist…

I remember seeing this train at The LEGO Store at Downtown Disney, Disney World back in 2010. It was like $100 or so, if I remember correctly. It still looks pretty damn good.
Garrison-Kelly Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I'd like to have a Lego mini-figure of teenaged Pink from The Wall so that he can put his father's bullets on the track.
saffronpanther Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
What an interesting concept.

Here's a fun one. You can have minifigs made of five fictional characters, barring obviously ones already existing. Who would they be?
Garrison-Kelly Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Daniel Bryan (WWE), The Barbarian (Diablo II), Mike Haggar (Final Fight), Marty Deeks (NCIS: Los Angeles), and The Ascension (Konnor and Viktor (WWE)), although the latter counts as two and not one.
(1 Reply)
Rustfur-Eternal Featured By Owner May 8, 2015…
Saw this and thought, "I know who could appreciate something this cute." 
Enjoy :D
Garrison-Kelly Featured By Owner May 8, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Aww!! This is the cutest thing in the world! Little kitties rolling around with a baby squirrel under the watch of kitty mother of the year! ^_^
saffronpanther Featured By Owner May 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist…

I found this cute little vid about a child's favorite Thomas train toy being sent high in the sky. Aside from some animation effects added to make Stanley seem alive, the footage is real.
Garrison-Kelly Featured By Owner May 3, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Aww!! How cute! ^_^
saffronpanther Featured By Owner May 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
It is, isn't it?

Out of the current Take-N-Play range, there is a toy of Stanley with an oversized astronaut's helmet over his face and funnel, appropriately called "Stanley in Space". I was wondering if there was some episode I missed here he made it to space, somehow, so I went to Google. There, I found out that they made the toy in honor of this vid.
Garrison-Kelly Featured By Owner May 3, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Super cute! ^_^
(1 Reply)
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