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About Literature / Hobbyist Premium Member Garrison KellyMale/United States Recent Activity
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I was originally going to do another chapter for Watch You Burn as part of my writing-reading-editing schedule. After all, each section of the cycle has two parts and part one for writing was doing a character biography of Shelly Craven from my 2007 movie Abyss. Ever since reading about the WWE Royal Rumble on Wikipedia, I’ve found a better way to use my writing talents. Today’s journal entry is about people who relentlessly complain about life. Yes, this journal is wrestling themed, but it’s also a universal topic that everybody can get behind.

As far as the wrestling end of it goes, here’s what I read about this year’s Royal Rumble pay-per-view (I couldn’t watch it because the WWE Network had a “media error” for my Roku (not that I’m complaining)). During the actual Royal Rumble match, as in the 30-man battle royal to determine who gets a shot at the WWE World Title at Wrestlemania 31, Daniel Bryan, a wildly popular baby face, was eliminated early and quickly during the first half of the event.

The crowd, mostly composed of smart-marks, booed the rest of the event with so much zeal that the eventual winner of the match, Roman Reigns, another wildly popular baby face, was vilified as well. Imagine that: Roman Reigns, the Most Improved Wrestler of 2013, one half of the Tag Team of the Year also in 2013, and Slammy winner in 2014 for Superstar of the Year gets booed out of the building because Daniel Bryan is untouchable. I like Daniel Bryan a lot, but I also recognize that he’s not a one-man show. And don’t forget, internet dorks: those awards Roman Reigns won were given to him because you guys voted for that to happen.

Maybe it was a blessing in disguise that I couldn’t watch the Royal Rumble this year with all the negativity in the air. But then again, a negative air is what you can expect from people who constantly complain about little shit like this and that. I’m not talking about comedians who turn complaining into a funny art form. After all, if you’re laughing at their jokes, then it’s not really negative thinking. I’m talking about people in general who complain about life at a nonstop pace. That kind of monotony can really wear on someone to the point where a once happy person is now depressed and feeling lower than the coffins his ancestors are buried in.

I’m not saying that bad things won’t happen every now and then and you should smile 24/7, because that would be unrealistic. I’m saying you should pick yourself up off the ground and keep fighting the good fight. Take a look around at what you have and be thankful for it instead of complaining about minor shit. I have a computer that’s seven years old and doesn’t move as fast as it used to. Yes, I swear at it sometimes, but I’m still grateful that I have it. It helps me get my writing projects off the ground and keeps me in touch with my wonderful faraway friends. What more could I ask for in a seven year old computer?

The words you say will have a huge impact on your future. Choose wisely. If you’re in a constantly bitchy mood with no love for anyone or anything, you can expect other people in your life to feel the same way about you whether it’s family members, friends, or complete strangers. But if you’re grateful for everything you have and you love the life you’re given, life will love you back as will the people in said life. It could be the difference between getting a smile and a hug or a kick to the testicles. Your thoughts matter, so make them count toward something you’ll actually enjoy later on.

As far as this year’s Royal Rumble match goes, I’m not mad that Daniel Bryan was quickly eliminated and Roman Reigns ended up winning. Getting mad over sports doesn’t make much sense to me. If Daniel Bryan loses another match, which he will eventually, then I won’t have the sudden urge to cause a riot in the streets and loot every store within a five mile radius.

It’s pro-wrestling. It’s a fictional story meant to be enjoyed by those watching it. The same thing should be said to people who complain over Hunger Games or Harry Potter romance storylines. It’s all fiction; get over it. If you don’t like what they’re doing on TV or in a book, then find something else to do. Write a better story. Draw a picture. Exercise. Do something other than complain. You’re responsible for your own happiness. Got that? Good.

Before you call me out on any hypocrisies I’m showing with these comments, I’d like to say that yes, I do post journals about the Most Disgusting Promotional Tactics and Worst Gimmicks in wrestling. I don’t post those journals because I’m in a bitchy mood. I post them because I want creative fuel. I want nightmare fuel. I want to relate these things to the real world so that people can learn from what I have to say instead of finding out that misery loves company. Bottom line: enjoy life and life will be good to you in return. We’ve got ears, say cheers!



“How come when it’s us it’s an abortion, but when it’s a chicken it’s an omelet? Are we all of the sudden so much better than chickens? When did this happen, that we’ve passed chickens in goodness? Name six ways we’re better than chickens. See, nobody can do it. You know why? Because chickens are good people. You don’t see chickens hanging around in drug gangs, do you? You never hear about them hooking up somebody’s nuts to a car battery. When was the last time you heard about a chicken who got pissed off at work, came home, and beat the shit out of his hen? It never happens, because chickens are decent people.”

-George Carlin-

  • Mood: Neutral
  • Listening to: Sanctuary by Cavalera Conspiracy
  • Reading: Stormy Weather by Carl Hiaasen
  • Watching: Not a Damn Thing
  • Playing: Piano
  • Eating: Hams, Eggs, and Toast
  • Drinking: Diet Mountain Dew


Garrison Kelly
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
My novels are available on Smash Words, Sony, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Apple, Page Foundry, Baker & Taylor, txtr, Oyster, Flipkart, and Scribd. American Darkness is available on Amazon and Lulu as well.

American Darkness (contemporary drama anthology)

Brawl Mart (urban fantasy novel)

Confessions of a Schizophrenic Savage (poetry and song anthology)

Garrison’s Library:

Sitka: June 19th, 2014 Cat of the Day:…

Q: How do you deal with writer’s block?
A: My favorite way to deal with writer’s block is by imagining the scenes of my stories from beginning to end. Sometimes when I’m alone (or at least when I’m sure I’m alone), I’ll do a back and forth dialogue between characters out loud. If it wasn’t for this method, the characters in my current novel Fireball Nightmare would all be two-dimensional wash-ups. It’s supposed to be a fast-paced bloodbath, but stories and emotions are just as important as the high-octane violence, if not more so.

Q: What’s your advice for aspiring writers?
A: Listen to your heart. Write about things you feel are important to you. Taking advice from others is okay and often recommended, but ultimately, you’re the one who makes the final decision on your writing, not the audience, not the editors, not the admins, just you and you alone. If somebody tells you your writing sucks, put as much distance as possible between yourself and that person. Nobody has the right to bring you down. If you still feel like your writing sucks, then keep working on it until it doesn’t. Never give up hope.

Q: How do you get inspired to write?
A: I draw inspiration from a lot of different sources whether they’re from other books or not. I’m a huge fan of heavy metal music and I often use it to channel aggressive feelings in my writing, especially during scenes of violence. I’m also a fan of professional wrestling as evidenced in my 2014 dark fantasy e-book Brawl-Mart. People like to criticize wrestling for being “fake” and I always tell them that Harry Potter is also fake, yet nobody’s complaining. Yet another source of creative fuel comes from the computer game Diablo II: Lord of Destruction. If it wasn’t for that game, I wouldn’t have such a fascination with barbarians. Deus Shadowheart, the main character of Fireball Nightmare, probably wouldn’t be a barbarian or even in existence if it wasn’t for Diablo II.

Q: Where did you get the idea for your most recent book?
A: When I was a child, I loved playing with Legos and I had a set from the pirate franchise that was a volcano with a swinging skull door in front. I called this set the Volcano of Doom and it has since been the inspiration for the main deity of Fireball Nightmare, Vahd (which is just a respelling of the acronym for Volcano of Doom (VOD)). Realistically, Fireball Nightmare is just an excuse for me to use a favorite barbarian character of mine named Deus Shadowheart and an idea I had for a dark fantasy apocalyptic role-playing game I made up called Valley of the Damned. When two kick-ass things come together, it’s instant magic. The makers of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup know this very well.

Q: Describe your desk.
A: It’s a hand-me-down from my older brother and has been in my possession since 2008. I have to be careful with it because it’s small and shakes easily. The upper tier has my computer screen, pencils, flash drives, and tissues on it. The middle tier holds my fan, house phone, speakers, tape player, keyboard, and sometimes a bottle of Diet Mountain Dew. The bottom tier is where my computer tower, printer, and power strips are located. In addition to writing stories and poetry, my rickety desk has also been used to draw some…interesting pictures.

Q: Where did you grow up, and how did this influence your writing?
A: I’ve lived in many places over the course of my childhood, but the one place where reality hit me the hardest was when I was going to high school in Chehalis, Washington. My freshman year was best known for the verbal bullying I have endured and almost committed suicide over. Due to the crippling PTSD (and eventual schizophrenia) I’ve suffered, most of my writing is influenced by dark and disturbing themes such as death, bullying, mental sickness, sex, and violence. I do have lighthearted stories in my archives, but I will always be known as an R-rated author.

Q: When did you first start writing?
A: I’ve been writing all of my life, but the time when I started taking it seriously was January of 2002. My first writing project was a videogame idea called Final Fantasy Hardcore. It had the same magical premise and romantic leanings as the games in the Final Fantasy series, but it was set in a dystopian future and had tons of mature content. My two favorite characters from this series are a charismatic barbarian named Deus Shadowheart and a perverted scientist named Dr. Scott Cain. Ever since scrapping Final Fantasy Hardcore, I’ve been trying to find a story for those two to be a part of. I think I’ve finally nailed it with a dark fantasy novel I’m currently writing called “Fireball Nightmare”.

Q: What’s the story behind your latest book?
A: My most recently published e-book as of now is American Darkness, which isn’t really a novel, but a collection of emotional short stories in a contemporary setting. There are 22 different stories jammed in this anthology, but the pride and joy of this series is one called “Another Brick in the Wall”, which obviously takes its name from the Pink Floyd songs. It is a classic verbal confrontation between a strict US History teacher named Sid McDonnell and a stressed out student named Sam Keith. This is a scenario I have always fantasized about, especially considering I had some rather unsavory teachers in high school and college who deserved a tongue-lashing.

Q: What motivated you to become an indie author?
A: My circumstances were the reason I chose self-publishing over traditional. I live in a town called Port Orchard, where young adult writers don’t have an outlet for their creativity. If I wanted to go somewhere to fulfill that need, it would have to be either Seattle, Bellingham, or Tacoma, all three of which are big cities that are too hard to get to. I don’t have a car or a driver’s license, so I have to depend on others for transportation. The people in my family who have driver’s licenses have schedules of their own and can’t ferry me to the big cities on a daily basis. Instead of stressing myself out by traveling to the big cities, I choose to use the internet to make my presence known. I have a lot of work to do in order to market myself, but I wouldn’t have self-published if I didn’t believe I could do it.

Q: How has Smash Words contributed to your success?
A: I haven’t sold very many e-books yet, but when the money starts rolling in, it will be because I chose Smash Words. Simply having a place where my writing can be immortalized is good enough for me. I write regularly on Deviant Art, Good Reads, Blogger, and Face Book. Smash Words is different from these places because it gives me a platform to organize my writing into a tangible product instead of just bits and pieces. Sometimes people need to see the bigger picture in order to make a decision about whether to be a member of an author’s audience.

Q: What is the greatest joy of writing for you?
A: Exercising my creativity is always a fun part of the business, but my favorite part comes from the feeling of accomplishment I get after I write something. I have taken something from my screwed up psyche and made something beautiful out of it. I liken this to the scene in the musical Pink Floyd the Wall where the main character smashes his hotel room in a fit of rage and afterwards makes a piece of art out of the remains. It’s a creepy way to think of my accomplishments, but then again, lots of creepy things go on in my mind.

Q: What do your fans mean to you?
A: My fans mean everything to me. Every time they give me a compliment or critique on my writing, it helps me become a better writer. Even if it’s a short compliment like “very well-written”, it’s enough to boost my confidence to continue putting myself out there. I’m shy at first, but when I begin to get comfortable with a group of people, we do so much for each other.

Q: What are you working on next?
A: It’s a dark fantasy novel called Fireball Nightmare. The first act, which is known as This Is Violence, deals with a forest-dwelling barbarian named Deus Shadowheart who will go to extreme means to protect his home from city developers. The main reason he does this is because he is a servant of the volcanic mountain god Vahd, who will erupt into apocalyptic fire if his forest is destroyed. The second act is called Valley of the Damned, but I won’t get into it right now because too much of the plot will have been revealed.

Q: Who are your favorite authors?
A: This is going to sound ironic coming from a lifelong writer, but I didn’t actually become a bookworm until 2009 when I picked up a copy of The Cleaner by Brett Battles. The books I read in college were slow-paced and dull while The Cleaner was exciting and quick. It’s because of this drastic change in pace that Brett Battles will always be my favorite author. Others include fellow introvert Susan Cain, Sherman Alexie, Carl Hiaasen, and Stephen Chbosky. Realistically, I’ll give my patronage to any author who can dictate a fast pace with his or her writing. Bonus points to go to any author who can almost bring me to tears. I haven’t cried since 2007, but I came very close to doing so with many of the authors I’ve read books from, particularly Stephen Chbosky.

Q: What inspires you to get out of bed each day?
A: To be honest, I don’t have much of a professional or social life in my small town of Port Orchard, Washington. To put it bluntly, I’m unemployed and have very few friends. I don’t have much of a reason to get out of bed every day, so the closest thing to inspiration I have is walking to the grocery store to get three giant bottles of Diet Mountain Dew. Walking is a fun exercise that helps me clear my mind, but more importantly, it’s an opportunity to rock out to heavy metal music on my MP3 player.



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saffronpanther Featured By Owner Edited Jan 8, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Garrison-Kelly Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
He even has those Mickey Mouse gloves. Nice. :)
saffronpanther Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Classic Ed.
Garrison-Kelly Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Or as WWE announcer Michael Cole would say, "That is vintage Ed!"
(1 Reply)
saffronpanther Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist…

Ah, this old advert. I dread the day this S.O.B. gets into politics.
Garrison-Kelly Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
WARIO: We are like ticking time bombs! War is the answer!

GEORGE W. BUSH: Hey, that's my line!

(Wario slams Bush's face into the podium and steals his wallet, which is probably stuffed from Bush's oil ventures.)
saffronpanther Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Then again, considering what Wario can survive...good lord...
Garrison-Kelly Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
He's like the Energizer Bunny after getting infected by a zombie bite.
(1 Reply)
saffronpanther Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Garrison-Kelly Featured By Owner Dec 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Okay, that was a pretty cool trick. Hehe!
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