Health Update

My past two journals weren’t very happy ones. On St. Patrick’s Day I suffered a schizophrenic attack and two days later I got bit by Nacho and was unable to walk because of it. That week was quite possibly the weirdest and least productive of 2015. Well, I’m here to tell you now that the week is over and a new day is on the horizon. I’ve recovered from the schizophrenic attack and my foot is healing nicely to the point where I can walk with minimal pain. It also helps that I won’t have to have rabies shots after all, so that’s extra nice.

As you can tell from my three newest Garrison’s Library entries, a clean bill of health means a newfound aggression when it comes to writing. All I can say now is there’s plenty more where that came from. In fact, why don’t I go ahead and close out this journal with some updates as to what my next writing projects shall be. We’ve got ears, say cheers!

***WEEKLY SHORT STORY CONTEST AND COMPANY***

Over the past few weeks, the admins of the group came up with prompts where I have to look up the word on either Wikipedia or Dictionary.com to find out what the fuck it means. Komorebi, Exsanguinations, Dog-Eared Paperbacks, and now Synesthesia. At least two of those words have red squiggly lines underneath when I type them in my word document. In all honesty, these are frustrating choices for prompts, but since I now know what they mean, I guess it’s not that bad. This week’s story will be called “Rat Rage” and it goes like this:

CHARACTERS:

Cain McGee, Head Scientist
Chelsea Greendale, Lab Assistant
Zarbon Rushblade, Rat Warrior

PROMPT CONFORMITY: Hearing a bell ring brings back haunting memories of Zarbon’s captivity.

SYNOPSIS: Cain and Chelsea run an animal testing lab for a cosmetics company. Zarbon bolts into the lab and takes the two scientists hostage in an attempt to put an end to animal testing. Zarbon himself was a test subject and has PTSD from his time in captivity. Screwing with this axe-happy lunatic is ill-advised.

***UNEMPLOYED CHARACTER PROFILE***

Because I still have a low number of male villains, the next profile will feature Shivo Black, a demonic prison guard from a 2008 movie script called Tower of Hell, which was the sequel to Tower of Heaven (creative, huh). The Tower of Hell was a prison that housed the most dangerous criminals on the face of the earth. And yet, Shivo Black along with the warden Dr. Steve Naraku managed to be the most disturbed people in that facility. They were so nasty to their prisoners that the Tower of Hell had to be converted to a rehabilitation camp, which is much nicer by comparison.

***TELEVISION SHOW REVIEW***

Ever since getting a Hulu subscription, I’ve been revisiting a British cartoon from the early 80’s and early 90’s called Danger Mouse. It’s a nice piece of nostalgia since I watched it when I was a kid. Although I have to confess that the end credits scared me because of the bomb that went off afterwards. I don’t know why that would be upsetting to a six-year-old like me, but apparently it was. Now that I watch it as a 29-year-old, it’s not so bad and is actually quite enjoyable.

***AWKWARD BEHAVIOR STORY***

This next story really takes the cake. Except we’re not eating cake in this one; we’re eating frozen yogurt. Susan, Reina, and I all went to a frozen yogurt shop to enjoy a nice dessert. And then the sudden urge to blow my nose comes onto me. When I grab some napkins to do it, it’s not just a regular nose blow, but it’s an elephant blast in the middle of the fucking restaurant. Reina was so embarrassed that she started punching me in the arm. Susan was so embarrassed that she decided we had to leave after everyone was staring at us. I don’t know if this story tops the A&W Hotdog Eating Debacle, but it comes pretty fucking close.

***POLITICAL QUOTE OF THE DAY***

“America isn’t just the world’s police. America is the world’s Ferguson, Missouri police.”

-Bill Maher-