***YANKEE DOODLE PARODIES***
Remember how you used to make fun of Yankee Doodle when you were a kid? Well, I just sang a bunch of disgusting parodies to my sister-in-law Susan and I'd thought I'd share a few of them with you. Things like, uh
Yankee Doodle went to town playing with a Go-Bot. Stuck his head between his legs and gave himself a blowjob.
Yankee Doodle went to town riding in economy. Stuck a feather in his ear and called it a lobotomy.
Yankee Doodle went to town looking for extortion. Stuck a feather up his twat and called it an abortion.
Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a rocket. Stuck a feather up his butt and called it Hershey's Chocolate.
Yankee Doodle went to town riding on something. Stuck a feather up his ass and dropped a thunder dumpling.
That's all I have for today! Adios, amigos! Thanks for reading!
***COMEDIC QUOTE OF THE DAY***
"New rule: women have to stop having food orgasms. I've heard many women ask, 'Why don't they make a Viagra for women?' They do. It's called an M&M. There's nothing more humiliating than being in bed with a woman, and she calls out another man's name, and it's Willy Wonka."
Listening to: And Justice For All by Metallica
Reading: For the Win by Cory Doctorow
Watching: Robot Chicken
Playing: With Legos
Eating: Peanut Butter
Drinking: Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi